Category Archives: featured

Dumbest Tweets… Literally: Part 2

April 28, 2011 Naturally Alise 7 Comments

(Shouts to @LuvvieIg)

[blackbirdpie url=”http://twitter.com/#!/pinchmycheekie/status/62954883061518336″]

As you may well know, I am quite a Twitter addict. It brings me joy to interact with some of the funniest and most intelligent folks on the Internet, ummmmm, however, just like the real world, ignorance rears its ugly head. You just can’t escape it. My dear friend Luvvie chronicles these dumb tweets on her Tumblr blog, “Dumbest. Tweets. Ever.” She features the purely rude butchering of my beloved English language. One of her regular posts on this blog is an overview of all the butchered idioms and phrases. I thought it would be lovely to show my literal interpretation via Photoshop of some of these. Enjoy and make sure to visit the “Dumbest. Tweets. Ever.” blog early and often! LEGGO (my Eggo)! Welcome to Part 2!

Someone tweeted this: #FlamingYoungs in a lame attempt at spelling “Filet Mignon,” I can’t make this stuff up. No really, I can’t.

These children sure love their fire!

The next ignorance is #DefenseMagnesium posing as “Defense Mechanism.” This makes me sad.

defense magnesium #defensemagnesium dumbest tweets

The periodic table will defend itself at all costs!

Last, and possibly least is the infamous #AtomsApple impersonating “Adam’s Apple.” Grammatical identify theft. This must stop!

Wonder if I split this atom will it cause an explosion of apple sauce. I need answers!!!

As Luvvie continues to post more ridiculous Twitter hashtags, I will continue to post literal interpretations. If there is one you would like to see, let me know! I am always down for foolishness, but you already knew that!

featured, music, poetic melodies

Poetic Melodies: Foreign Exchange

April 20, 2011 Naturally Alise Leave a comment

Foreign Exchange

yes!

Well, I am feeling all musical and what not this week, so I will do a Poetic Melodies post all week. Well, it is my blog and stuff. *shrug* Today’s featured artist is The Foreign Exchange. Enjoy, get up on it!

Waiting for the daylight
Cause then she’ll keep me
In the safety of her arms
She never leaves me
And when the sun rises, she watches over me

He tells me all his secrets
He thinks nobody knows
We lay together in daylight
I love him so
And when the sun rises, he watches over me

These lines here are so simple, but poetry can be simple… don’t you agree?

Good people, good loving
Good music in my life, it makes me happy
Good people, good loving
Good music in my life, it makes me happy
So happy

When she lays down at night
I wonder what she sees
When she thinks of paradise
Maybe she’ll dream of me
So every night I pray
That when she goes to sleep
and she dreams of a love
Maybe she’ll dream of me

All this time I had it wrong,
But now I truly see
The road you’re choosing.
See the writings on the wall
Tells me I’m losing you
And there’s nothing for me to do
Cause our greatest fears came true.
I finally got a clearer view

I don’t wanna be a soldier anymore!
Because the war never ends
And no one ever wins
I don’t understand why we should fight for love?
Either it ain’t or it is!
It either ain’t or it is!

Are you a Foreign Exchange fan? If so, what is your favorite Foreign Exchange song?

featured, Poetry

Bring in “Today” with Brandelyn Castine

April 19, 2011 Naturally Alise Leave a comment

My buddy! (With her Simba hair,lol)

I can’t even begin to tell you the love and respect I have for my friend who will bless my blog with a guest poem today. She goes my the alleged name of Brandelyn Castine and she is a fantastic poet, author, (published… fancy, huh?)and friend. I really wanted to feature a poem by her to help celebrate National Poetry Month and to give her a little extra excited energy since she is releasing a new book very very soon! To learn more about this amazing human being visit her website. Here is her poem:

not yesterday. not tomorrow. but today.

Today

Today i am immune to negativity
Immune to the concept that laughter is a foreign language
And joy can only be shaken forward through a forbidden tongue
Today i embrace the wind
The fragrance captured in the leaves
The orange tanginess of lemon drops
The moments smoky with soft kisses and stolen glances
Today i embrace the questions
And challenge the doubts
My head aches from over thinking the lines and rhythms and confines of this poem
Keeping me tucked away from the issues and shades of gray
Today over thinking is a mystery
And my hips are exactly the shape and size they should be
Because today, finally, i am walking in the fullness and liberty of joy
Yes today is my day
And i choose to believe
That i can fight and wrestle for my sunshine
And win
That i can catch it with both hands
Slide it into a quiet place
And sing sweet soft lullabies
Reminding it that happiness is ours
And we can play in this world we have created
For as long as we choose
Because in the land of today
The hands of the clock rest on satisfied and content
The breezes taste like cinnamon
And we lay here
Silently basking in this feeling
that goodness is real
And the moments that are being strung together
Will be captured on a canvas
Colors melting into the definition of
Today

EVERYTHING!, featured, laughs, music

Billy Ocean and other randomness…

March 29, 2011 Naturally Alise 9 Comments

Billy Ocean, etc…

[repost]

So yesterday I started my Twitter day off with this:

[blackbirdpie url=”http://twitter.com/NaturallyAlise/status/35750857911836672″]

All morning I had the song “Love Zone” in my head. Also in my head I sang it like Billy Ocean, every riff, every ad lib, it was a thing of beauty. Angels sang, thunder rolled, and people saved on their car insurance. By the way my skull is headquarters for obscurity, foolishness, and general lickerish, paphian thoughts. (Yes, you will learn these words of the day if I have to shove them down your throat,*clears throat*) What was I saying? Oh, so this tweet led to a bunch of fabulous follow up tweets by my lovely Twitter goons:

[blackbirdpie url=”http://twitter.com/and1grad/status/35751684651094016″]

Oh no, but it didn’t stop there:

[blackbirdpie url=”http://twitter.com/Orig_Glamazon/status/35751804645937152″]

I hope you didn’t think it was over!

[blackbirdpie url=”http://twitter.com/steenfox/status/35752062474125312″]

Think we stopped here? Oh, surely you jest.

[blackbirdpie url=”http://twitter.com/NaturallyAlise/status/35752394893565952″]

Just in case you aren’t familiar with the catalog of the fantabulous 80’s singer Billy Ocean, here is the song we were crooning:

The only thing better than a Twitter sing-along is a BILLY OCEAN Twitter sing-along. So I am sure you are wondering why the heck did I have Billy Ocean songs in my head? Do you REALLY have to have a reason? However, I did actually have a reason. I was reminiscing on my childhood, and thinking of all the albums my mama used to play on Saturday mornings, aka “Clean Up Day,” aka “Your child is your slave Day“, aka “Why I gotta get up so early, can’t we clean in the afternoon Day.” Wait, what was I talking about? Oh yeah, my mama had 5 albums, yes albums, that she played without fail:

this album plus the "Love Zone" album got mad spins!

My mama played so much Sade that I went through a period where I could not stand to hear a Sade song.

I think this is one of the best pop albums ever made, seriously, every song went hard!

Clark Sisters - You brought the sunshine .1981

Then you know she had to throw a little Jesus up in the mix, I'm just sayin'...

and the Pièce de résistance….

This was one of my mama's favorite albums when I was growing up. She was all about the light-skinned eyebrow sensation... smh

So yes, anytime I hear a song from any of these artists I get a warm and fuzzy feeling about my childhood. It also makes me sad that the next generation’s memories will be about Wacka Flocka, Nicki Minaj, and a host of other unsavory characters. Sucks for them.

What musical memories do have from your parents or grandparents? Please share.

EVERYTHING!, featured, General, laughs

All Kitchen Gadgets EVERYTHING!

March 16, 2011 Naturally Alise 2 Comments

I am a lover of all things kitchen gadget in nature. I love to cook, it has never been a chore for me. It is pure joy, right up there with unicorns, Simply Lemonade, and The Five Heartbeats, and as you all know, that is SERIOUS.

Let’s go through the kitchen gadgets that I love and a couple on my wishlist:

love this!

Yes the lovely Black & Decker Flavor Scenter Steamer Plus. This gadget is a thing of beauty, especially if you are on a healthy tip like myself. You don’t have to watch your veggies or rice, just set the timer and go on about your business

greatest invention of the 20th Century...

Yes, this one is a classic. The ubiquitous George Foreman Grill. I remember the one I had in college, I worked at the grocery store at the time as well. Let’s just say a mini-food business out of my dorm room was added to my long list of broke student side-hustles.

"Yo, you got the juice now, man."

Everyone needs a “real” juicer in their life.Nothing is better than some fresh juice concoction you have created at home, instead of that watered down, sugared up crap from the grocery store. (except for Simply Lemonade, of course, lol)

Set It and Forget It!

I want a Ronco Rotisserie so bad I can taste it. (<— see what I did there?) Now first off don’t judge me, but I will watch this infomercial anytime it is on. One of my good friends told me recently that it really does work well so I may be owning one n the near future!

Everyone meet the Demy Kitchen Safe Touchscreen Recipe Reader. Hi Demy!

I need this definitely because I am always trying new recipes and this would be hella convenient?

Here are the product features from Amazon.com:

Product Features

Kitchen-safe touchscreen recipe reader that holds your personal recipe collection in one compact device

7-inch touchscreen with an intuitive graphical navigation interface, adjustable font size

Comes pre-loaded with 250 recipes; can store up to 2500 recipes

Accesses recipes saved to Key Ingredient web site; syncs via included USB cable conneced to PC

Splash-resistant design and sturdy plastic exterior can be cleaned with damp cloth

What kitchen gadget can’t you live without or wish to have?

Foreign Exchange

Today

Billy Ocean, etc…

Product Features

poetry, love, & laughs