Category Archives: EVERYTHING!

All Tweets EVERYTHING!

twitter bird with afro

He ends all his tweets with #naturalhair

I miss The PBG‘s old series where she posted the funniest tweets from Twitter.  I looked forward to it every Friday to make my week complete and feel like I could  live on.  Yes, I am dramatic and extra, I thought that’s why y’all liked me.  I digress.  In remembrance of that awesome series I wanted to ever so often post my favorite tweets of the moment.  All of them won’t necesarily be funny, just interesting or clever.  Enjoy! (*cries in the car waiting for The PBG to bring back her series*)

 

Very relevant wisdom:

[blackbirdpie url=”http://twitter.com/Dart_Adams/status/116995085299761152″]

 

seems legit:

[blackbirdpie url=”http://twitter.com/sassycrass/status/116561312858914816″]

 

See how folks be life Eff Logic!  I appreciate him stating this:

[blackbirdpie url=”http://twitter.com/070180/status/116660442738331648″]

 

Belinda, go sit down.

[blackbirdpie url=”http://twitter.com/pinchmycheekie/status/116916396566384640″]

 

Something in the milk ain’t clean…

[blackbirdpie url=”http://twitter.com/purplepeace79/status/116678621640404993″]

 

gratuitous ignorant Alise tweet:

[blackbirdpie url=”http://twitter.com/NaturallyAlise/status/117006157272461312″]

 

hmmmm…:

[blackbirdpie url=”http://twitter.com/MeLaMachinko/status/112239685409050624″]

 

WELP!!!

[blackbirdpie url=”http://twitter.com/MoreAndAgain/status/115863186737070081″]

 

Happy Friday Y’all!

All My Hair EVERYTHING!

i love my hair sesame street

I love my hair too!

To keep with a semi-theme this week of natural hair and what not, I have been wanting to do a hair post for a while but I have been lazy busy and $hit.  My hair has been through every style and texture.  Let’s take a journey in pictures. Y’all know I love pictures.

I made my fabulous debut on this little place we called Earth at 9 lbs. 6 oz. and a head full of curly jet black hair. Can you imagine that I once was an innocent little baby? Oh my how things change...

So I grew up a little bit and at 5 years old I had the requisite little black girl ponytail action going on. 3 years later my stepsisters put a relaxer in my hair. When my mom came to pick me up at the end of the weekend she hit the roof. She is still upset about this 23 years later... I'm still a little angry myself.

So fast forward to high school, 9th grade. I was so geeked that my mom let me chop off all my hair. This was around the time when the Halle Berry and Toni Braxton type of short hair cuts were very popular. You couldn't tell me anything...

The year was 1997, I graduated from high school and I had grown out my short haircuts quite a bit, I was still on that creamy crack (relaxers)...

My college years were a series of harsh relaxers, VERY bad weaves, and a million sets of micro-braids. My hair started to really suffer, so I decided to do something about it! (I was kinda cute though and look how skinny I was! Also peep the epic side-eye)

These are my locs about a month before I ... *GASP* cut them off. This was another on a whim thing... I am special like that...

Thus was born the fabulous FRO! It is what earned me my twitter nickname of Froesha!

Just another gratuitous FRO picture... :)

But me being the fickle person when it come to hair, I got locs again... only difference is this time they were a little more free, thicker, and I loved them....

 

and fickle once again, the fro returned and is here to stay... maybe.

Thanks you for coming along on my journey through hair.  Do you have an interesting or embarrassing hair story you would like to share?  The floor is yours!

All Care Bears EVERYTHING!

Care Bear Stare

Your favorite super hero's super power is not even awesome as the Care Bear Stare. Nope.

I know it seems that I would like everything associated with glitter, rainbows, and magical in nature, that would be an accurate assessment, hence my love for the Care Bears.

Ahhhh, sweet nostalgia.  I grew up in the 80’s and had just about all the toys associated with that era.  What a grand tie to grow up.  I had Rainbow Brite, My Little Pony, Chutes and Ladders board game, Barbies, and even a few Transformers.  (Eff gender roles!)  However, Care Bears were my favorite.   Let’s take a journey:

 

Cheekie: I really want to jump off a curb right about nah

me: at first I thought it said cloud and I was like “Oooh that sounds fun”

Cheekie: omg jumping off a cloud does sound fun

me: like the Care Bears

wayment…

How the f*ck have I never written a Care Bears post

like I was obsessed

Cheekie: you LIE

me: I have STORIES

Cheekie: I was just bout to be like… don’t I remember a post you wrote

me: I had a Care Bears record

Cheekie: I imagined it because it’s sooooooo natural for me to think you have one

like it’s already in the universe

me: that I played on my record player that was built in to a carrying case

Cheekie: OH! WHY did I read that like a criminal record?

me: I had 5 different Care Bears

Tender Heart never got played with though

tenderheart care bear

That's Tenderheart, him downstairs.

he sat on my bed

I had that thing for 15 years and it had nary a speck of dirt on it

but the rest of them bears doe

grubby dinnamug

I just reread that and chuckled loudly

Cheekie: ahahahaha

you treated him tenderly

me: right!

Cheekie: how apropos!

me: no Force MD’s

Cheekie: HAAAAAAAA

 

Yes, I owned a real life vinyl Care Bears album entitled “Introducing the Care Bears,”  I think my mom still has it at her house.  It featured such hard hitting cuts as “Good Luck Bear,” and “Tenderheart Bear.”  Yes, all the classics.

introducing the care bears album

snubbed by the Grammy's... hmph.

I LIVED for the Care Bears movies!!!  Care Bears the Movie 2 had my  favorite song, it is below:

“Care-a-lot, we care a lot *clap-clap clap-clap*”

Epic, legendary status. Tell me I’m wrong. I’m not gonna do nothing, but I dare you. *B-boy stance*

Now, there is one thing about the Care Bears that midly irritates me. Just like the Smirfs did with the little munchkin Smurf cousins, Care Bears introduced their cousins to the mix. Now I don’t know what kind of species mixing mess they were on but their cousins weren’t even bears. Maybe they were trying to show us that interracial relatinships were okay. Whatever the reason, I still don’t like the mutant Care Bear Cousins.  Why folks always bring their raggedy cousins into their business ventures?

care bear cousins picture

Lions, penguins, and piglets? Oh my?

Now, I want to introduce you to my other 2  favorite Care Bears after my beloved Tenderheart:

bedtime bear of the Care Bears

Bedtime Bear. It's his job to bring sweet dreams to all his friends. How can you NOT like him. He is like a plush Ambien.

grumpy bear care bears

Grumpy. Every crew needs an Eeyore, an Oscar the Grouch, or a Grumpy Bear. I don't make the rules, I just enforce them.

 


Anybody else who grew up in the 80’s and early 90’s that love Care Bears?

 

 

Prices is on the right hand side…

price is right showcase showdown

I always root for the player that is black and/or female. I am game show sexist and racist, lol...

As usual I have random conversations with that weirdo chick named Cheekie that inspire blog posts.  She is my muse and personal foolishness assistant, and I don’t have to pay her.  It is a wonderful arrangement.  For me.  We somehow got to talking about the Price Is Right.  Here it goes:

 

me:  she is the winnuh!
Cheekie: TELL HER WHAT SHE’S WON!
me: an all expense paid staycation in front of her computer… YAYYYY!
Cheekie: and… bob barker voice A NEW CAHR!
me: LOL!  When it ain’t the car and is like some furniture set or lame vacation to Canada the contestants be looking all defeated… it is da bess!
Cheekie: lmao, omg too true, furniture be from a liquidation sale and sh*t
me: from an annual going out of business sale, see what i did there?
Cheekie: YESSSSSSSSS
me: why the first showcase showdown be lame dinna mug? Be worth $10.50, but the second one always be like $60,000
Cheekie:  ________________

Oh yes, the fabulous show enjoyed by young and old, but mostly old, The Price Is Right!  I want to share with you some of my favorite memories and concerns about this legendary games show.  Here we go…  The Price is Right sometimes features some of the dumbest contestants in all of game showdom (yes, showdom).  This is most often displayed in the opening bids.  I am gonna make up a scenario:
Bob Barker:  The first item up for bid is a GE Washing Machine
Contestant 1: $8000
Contestant 2: $8001
Contestant 3: $8
Contestant 4: $2
Contestant 5: $1
Bob Barker:  -_-
I am exaggerating, but not by much, I think folks kind of miss the whole concept.  I bet these are the same people who write all those dumb tweets.  I love watching people spin the big wheel to qualify for the Showcase Showdown.  It is my very favorite part of the show.  There are two different types of wheel spinners.  You have the weak, frail waif who can’t get the wheel around once and then you have this guy, who will show the world the prowess of his brolic manliness and virility.  He is out of control:

Calm down, we know you strong and sh*t...

The enthusiasm for the lackluster prizes on this show never ceases to amaze me.  I never knew you could get so hype in front of a national audience about dinette set.

He just won a dinette set and I bet he don't have a dining room... put something on it... don't worry, I'll wait.

 

And as a bonus this is Cheekie’s favorite, so I decided to indulge her just this once:

 

Mountain Climber Animated Gif Price is Right

"I'm coming up, on the rough side o' da mountain..."

I am sure I am missing a lot of aspects that make The Price Is Right great so share some of you funny observations and memories!

All My Birthday EVERYTHING!

May please be good gif

and it will be because it is my birthday month! Hooray!

 

So this week is a national holiday, it is the day that a foolish, slightly neurotic poet and class clown extraordinaire named Alise made her Earth debut.  *The crowd goes wild*  Oh, you can sit down now. -_-  Yes, this Saturday, May 7th is my birthday!  How old will I be?  Umm, nosy much?  Yeah, that means I am not answering.  Moving right along I wanted to share my wishlist, it is good to dream and throw hints to the universe.

 

I need help getting to the Southerfried Poetry Slam in Atlanta, GA in June.  Southernfried is a poetry wonderland of the best slam and indvidual poets in the southeast.  It has been a rough year financially, so I need a little assistance.  I could sure use a little renewing through a weekend of unity, poetry, and raw creativity.  It definitely can’t hurt.  If you;d like the help chip in (every little bit helps), click the widget below.  Muah!

 

I am a girly girl to the core, maybe the purple layout gave you a hint, and I love all things makeup!  I especially love nail polish, and I have got to have the China Glaze Crackle Nail Polish collection.  It is such a genius and cool product that needs to get on all 10 of my digits forthwith.  Ooh that sounded fancy, can’t take poets nowhere.

China Glaze Crackle

so purdy!

 

 

Actually, I don’t want much, the only other thing I want is world peace, but if I could get a unicorn I’ll drop that whole peace nonsense, because me and my unicorn would definitely spread peace and goodwill towards men.  See, I am insane hence why you need to get me to Southernfried so the first gift is the only one that matters… *long deep breath, drops mic*

 

37151-Clipart-Illustration-Of-A-Peaceful-Unicorn-Smiling-And-Gesturing-The-Peace-Sign

my peace dispensing unicorn... #swag.