Tag Archives: randomness

EVERYTHING!, laughs

Search and seizure…

6 Comments

 

One side effect of blogging for so long is an obsession with looking at my site’s traffic analytics.  I am always amazed at what posts people read and most definitely fascinated by the odd search strings that bring people to my blog.  In fact I’d like to share some of those search strings with commentary.  LEGGO!

searching for happiness cartoon

Google has everything else... why not?

 

you want my spot flash (This search string shows up at least 5 times a week, no doubt it leads to one of my favorite posts: All Five Heartbeats EVERYTHING! good times.)

are unicorns real – Well duh, of course they are, what a silly question

alise naturally optimal – What does this mean?

natural highgean – I guess Mike Epps ain’t the only spelling idiot

ronnie devoe eyebrows – If they are searching for those I am sure their browser timed out… they might be where Whoopi’s are.

lisa frank riding a unicorn – I would explode into a cloud of glitter if I saw this.

negro spirituals karaoke – This is what me and Cheekie had to say about this:

me: negro spirituals karaoke
Cheekie: _____________– has to actually leave my desk
negro spirituals karaoke DOE?
i am cackling at the very thought of that existing
like I’d go in a heartbeat
me: i’d be the first in line, singing “Wade in the Water” whilst sipping on a Mojito
Cheekie: YES and everyone will join, THIS is how you bring black folk together
me: EUREKA and shit!  Who knew the solution would be so simple
Cheekie: YES

 

 

poems about falling in love with a mythical creature – I love my unicorns but I don’t play that bestiality steez. no sir.

poems for my partner who in jail – Keep yo head up!  Maybe I’ll see your boo on my beloved Lockup MSNBC.

 

 

These are my top 10 “normal”  search strings for 2011

  1. Unicorn (surprise, surprise…)
  2. Lalah Hathaway (swoon…)
  3. Walk of  Shame (tee hee…)
  4. Chris Brown Blonde Hair (le sigh…)
  5. The Five Heartbeats (WIN!…)
  6. Naturally Alise (Why is this not number 1??? LOL!)
  7. Alice in Wonderland (nice!)
  8. Donny Hathaway (the whole Hathaway crew!)
  9. Unicorn Pictures (Notice a theme?)
  10. Brand New Heavies (Awesome group!)
EVERYTHING!, laughs

All Birds NOTHING!

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Do I know why the caged birds sing?  I have several theories:

* Subterfuge for its creepiness

* Facade for its evilness

* Trying to call his creepy, evil cousins on the outside to come and get him out.

All of this makes sense.  Why?  Because birds are evil.   Yes, birds.  Er’ last one of them.  Okay, except for the ones I eat.  So I do apologize chickens, Cornish Hens, and turkeys.    But besides them, I can’t deal with birds of any kind.

The Birds movie poster

How can this not scare you?

Blame it on Alfred Hitchcock’s “The Birds”, sh*t, you can blame it on the rain, or even blame it  on the boogie. The creatures just ain’t right.  Trust me, I know these things.  I even have a delusional friend, who’s name I won’t mention (but she is part of the blog Gimme That Glow and her name starts with an O and ends in -dara o_0 ) , who is obsessed with owls.  Sigh, yes, creepy wise-ass owls.  She torments me by sending me links to owl pictures on twitter.  So now I call her OwlDara…  she is so weird.  Any-hoot. <–see what I did there?

owl

I feel like he is looking in my soul... *shivers*

However,I do have a friend that shares my bird insensibility Just take all of this in… a conversation with my very good buddy and penpal Brandelyn of BeeNCee.com:

me: by the way… i don’t like birds, they are scary, unless they are like parrots or parakeets in a cage

Brandelyn: i mean, i adore hummingbirds, but from a distance
oh i despise birds
for real for real
me: The movie The Birds scarred me for life
I am truly frigthened
Brandelyn: OMG!!!!!!!!!
ME TOOOOOOOOOOO
Alfred was RUDE for that!
me: yassss!
oooh and if I see any bird that is black….
I about fall out
Brandelyn: Dude!!!
me: it is so bad
Brandelyn:  Hummingbirds are all i can stand
and they are barely birds
because they are about an inch big
me: they are butterflies with beaks, lol
hummingbird

butterflies with beaks...

Brandelyn: BWAHAHAHAHHA!
Have I told you how much I love you?
hilarious!
Butteflies with beaks my nig?
Done
Oh and geese, and how rude they are
me: sigh, geese
Brandelyn: those jokers walk HELLA slow, looking at you all out of the side of their eyes and wanna hiss at you cause you’re trying to get past them
me: ok!
Brandelyn: cause they want to meander all down the sidewalk
stopping traffic
and they can’t even fly good
wanna fly all low to the ground
just walk foo!
i can’t stand them!
geese

Public Enemy #1, 2, AND 3

me: LOL!  Tell me how you really feel
Brandelyn: and then they ROLL HELLA DEEP!
like 30 of them, so if one of them hisses at you you can’t really retaliate or jerk forward to try to punk them cause they got like 30 of their boys all looking at you out of the side of their eye
pigeon and dove

This is what it sounds like when pigeons cry.... (Prince remix)

me: and don’t get me started on sea gulls… and pigeons
Brandelyn: and Im with you on the pigeon thing
those are the dingiest birds in the world!
me: and why do folks love doves… they are pigeons too
it is a white pigeon
Brandelyn: Its cause they’re white
all white
me: ahhhhh
Brandelyn: and only white people really like them
me: *pulls out Autobigraphy of Malcom X*
Brandelyn: or black people who were raised thinking they were white, how many negros have you seen messing with some doves?  besides the candy?
I apologize for my rants
birds and smart cars really set me off
I can’t stand either of them
Good times on GChat…  Do you like birds and what animals freak you out?
EVERYTHING!, laughs, Random Fro Thoughts

All Random Fro Thoughts EVERYTHING!

1 Comment

I have been posting a lot of depressing and weird poems lately, so today I will break it up with a little silly randomness… Oh and yes I will still call it Random Fro Thoughts even though I am now all loc’d up, I will still be Fro in spirit… forever! POW!

Speaking of hair changes, my good buddy PBG is taking her locs out.  YES, you can take them out!  Who knew?   Anyway, it was funny that the week she started taking her locs out is the week I started mine.  SWITCH!

[blackbirdpie url=”http://twitter.com/thepbg/status/25243494478″]

Oh, have you checked out my Tumblr? (affectionately known to me as “Da Tumbluhs”)  Over there I post usually pictures, conversations, or littlerandom tidbits not long enough to dedicate an entire blog to.  Good times I promise… for example:

Gchat Foolery

BeezHunny: Where did I say that at? I won’t refute it, but… Shoot.

me: on da tumbluhs

BeezHunny: I be forgettin my daily foolish spurts.

me: foolishness and senility are first kissing-cousins

BeezHunny: Preeeeety much. I need some gingko sensoba.

foodgasm.

I had the banging-est salad today at my daily loitering spot Blue Coffee Cafe.  It was a garden salad with: Romaine lettuce, tomatoes, cucumbers, red peppers, yellow peppers, black olives, MARINATED ARTICHOKES, chicken, an array of finely shredded cheeses, and Balsamic vinagrette….  plus I had a vanilla iced latte.   I think I almost came it was so good. #allfoodAIRTHANG

I had a flashback of when I was a kid and always insisted on wearing my new shoes out of the store.  For real, I would throw a fit (and I almost NEVER threw fits) if I couldn’t.  It didn’t matter if I had on a sweat suit and we were buying patent leather dress shoes.  Funny thing is I am still the same way.  If I buy something new it WILL get worn with 3 days of the purchase… For example I got some new earrings this past weekend and I have worn each pair this week… kid at heart always.

new earrings

fly! POW!

See you guys, I can be happy and stuff too!  Share a random thought you have had this week, we’re all family!