Tag Archives: pain

pressure, pain, & circles…

 

pain depression fatigue withdrawal cycle

vicious cycle...

 

pressure

is a funny thing,
but not like ha ha.
it can create
and destroy
but always changes
things.

pain

is a funny thing

but not ha ha
it makes it harder to create
and easier to be destroyed
but i won’t allow the latter
because this is far beyond
a laughing matter
it is my life.
and i am worthy of creation.

So time for me
… to abandon the vicious cycles
…..and running in circles…
I am gonna run ….
in some new shapes,
ellipses,
rhombuses….
no.
fuck that.
I am multidimensional.
I’ll run, walk, and glide in 3D,
run in dodecahedron
excel in this sphere….
yup!
no more running in circles
…that always ends in a cube….

 

stripped… [updated]

A snippet of a much longer very personal piece I am working on…   feedback is appreciated…. [originally posted 9-21-10 will continue updating until “finished.” Bold lines are the latest updates]

stripped bare....

we have fucked without guilt

without enjoyment

with pain and pleasure

….and of course

the regrets.

the bruises of men’s kisses has stained our skin

like red Kool-Aid

fucking is something that has guided us gently to that stage

in ghastly makeup

a calculated touch

lascivious glares

blocked our growth as humans

turned us in reverse

so the longer we stayed in the biz

the faster we wanted to regress into babies

crying in our mother’s arms.

futile wishes for a return to innocence.

return to the arms of mother’s who hate us now

because they see their failure in our eyes

looking for non existent validation

leaning on imaginary shoulders

wondering why we hit the ground each time

well it’s hard to see reality through blackened third eyes

swollen from life’s hard knocks

so we continue to stumble blindly through this maze

littered with deferred dreams and potential

going in circles…

around hope.

around greatness.

around poles.

wasted…

pain logo with band aid bandage

pain doesn't have to be in vain... ooh that rhymed, lol

It is amazing how you can go back to an old poem and it gives you a little therapy.   I have to keep the last stanza of this poem in mind when I start to get discouraged and frustrated….  As always, thanks for coming by and supporting my little corner of the blogosphere…

wasted…

Lately I’ve been mad frustrated

Serotonin levels devastated

Depression leaving me inundated

Burst my happy little bubble – yes, deflated

But I did it , so guess I detrimentally masturbated

Yes, fucked myself over, mentally fornicated

I knew my life needed to be renovated

But I couldn’t afford it, the price had been inflated

If ever there was a game, I played it

If there was a mistake, I made it

Hope – best believe I slayed it

Self-respect, I have betrayed it

Never put action to my words so the my verbs were never conjugated

Negativity was my Valium I stayed sedated

In my own little world alienated

I was S.O.L. abbreviated

Wasn’t a phoenix so I went through the fire and was cremated

And some days it was myself that I hated

My destruction I have abetted and aided

Running in place has me exasperated

Life was a hungry bitch emaciated

A royal mess I have created

My supernova potential has quickly faded

If anyone tried to get in they hit a wall because my heart is barricaded

You needed to take a jackhammer to this Heart of stone for love to be excavated

Feeling like love and peace were overrated

Happiness- I forbade it

Denied my sickness, bc I’m no patient, so I never waited

Humble pie with a side of pride, I never ate it

Even when life tried to be sweet I couldn’t taste it

BUT

I needed to release – I feel spiritually constipated

So I tried with every fiber of my being because I’m tired of being nauseated

My heart just needed to be reeducated

So this love for self could be reinstated

It’s so easy, but smart folks always make things so complicated

All I needed to do was step on this stage, let out my pain, just say it

So the sounds of your snaps will scare these demons so they can be relocated

But best believe the path that I’ve taken I’d never trade it

You only live once… you can’t replay it.

Just make sure you learn from your bullshit so the pain. isn’t. wasted


National Poetry Month: Day 10 (Unicorns)

cartoon that says  a unicorn is a horse with a party hat

nuff said. unicorns rock.

.
The alleged “they” say
When you hear hoofbeats, think horses, not zebras
Well when I hear them I think unicorns
And if it walks like a duck
It must be a peacock
And rain is just an excuse for rainbows
If ain’t broke then….
I’ll just fix it
… and spraypaint it purple
And if he breaks my heart
I just think of unicorns, peacocks, rainbows, and purple
Because silly…
makes the pain a little easier…

Recap:
Day1 – I’m Just Sayin’
Day 2 – Silly Me
Day 3 – Haiku Series (sky theme)
Day 4 – Soul Resurrected
Day 5 – Poetry Chase
Day 6 – Guest Blog Poetry Slam: Musical Favorites : AmyMay
Day 7 – Guest Poet: SheHateMe

April is National Poetry Month.  I knew I loved April for a reason!  For this month I will write and post a poem every.single. day.  Hold me to it. Drop me a line at naturallyalise (at) gmail (dot) com if you are interested in being featured this month!  Enjoy!

Blog Poetry Slam 38: Pain

I am back y’all.  Told you it wouldn’t be too long.  Just going through a rough patch of life.  However, I am writing myself out of it one day at a time.  Sometimes you have to write away the pain, so that’s what I thought would make an appropriate theme for us to write about: PAIN

Please write a poem to fit the theme in the comments… Your poems can be long, short or even a haiku!  They can be serious or silly.  If you are not a poet then tell the poets you think of their pieces. Thanks for coming by and supporting my little corner of the blogosphere…
 
 
 

 
my piece is a little rough draft of a performance piece I am working on… 
 
Lately I’ve been mad frustrated

Serotonin levels devastated

Depression leaving me inundated

Burst my happy little bubble – yes, deflated

But I did it , so guess I detrimentally masturbated

Yes, fucked myself over, mentally fornicated

I knew my life needed to be renovated

But I couldn’t afford it, the price had been inflated

If ever there was a game, I played it

If there was a mistake, I made it

Hope – best believe I slayed it

Self-respect, I have betrayed it

Never put action to my words so the my verbs were never conjugated

Negativity was my Valium I stayed sedated

In my own little world alienated

I was S.O.L. abbreviated

Wasn’t a phoenix so I went through the fire and was cremated

And some days it was myself that I hated

My destruction I have abetted and aided

Running in place has me exasperated

Life was a hungry bitch emaciated

A royal mess I have created

My supernova potential has quickly faded

If anyone tried to get in they hit a wall because my heart is barricaded

You needed to take a jackhammer to this Heart of stone for love to be excavated

Feeling like love and peace were overrated

Happiness- I forbade it

Denied my sickness, bc I’m no patient, so I never waited

Humble pie with a side of pride, I never ate it

Even when life tried to be sweet I couldn’t taste it

BUT

I needed to release – I feel spiritually constipated

So I tried with every fiber of my being because I’m tired of being nauseated

My heart just needed to be reeducated

So this love for self could be reinstated

It’s so easy, but smart folks always make things so complicated

All I needed to do was step on this stage, let out my pain, just say it

So the sounds of your snaps will scare these demons so they can be relocated

But best believe the path that I’ve taken I’d never trade it

You only live once… you can’t replay it.

Just make sure you learn from your bullshit so the pain. isn’t. wasted

your turn…