Do I know why the caged birds sing? I have several theories:
* Subterfuge for its creepiness
* Facade for its evilness
* Trying to call his creepy, evil cousins on the outside to come and get him out.
All of this makes sense. Why? Because birds are evil. Yes, birds. Er’ last one of them. Okay, except for the ones I eat. So I do apologize chickens, Cornish Hens, and turkeys. But besides them, I can’t deal with birds of any kind.
Blame it on Alfred Hitchcock’s “The Birds”, sh*t, you can blame it on the rain, or even blame it on the boogie. The creatures just ain’t right. Trust me, I know these things. I even have a delusional friend, who’s name I won’t mention (but she is part of the blog Gimme That Glow and her name starts with an O and ends in -dara o_0 ) , who is obsessed with owls. Sigh, yes, creepy wise-ass owls. She torments me by sending me links to owl pictures on twitter. So now I call her OwlDara… she is so weird. Any-hoot. <–see what I did there?
However,I do have a friend that shares my bird insensibility Just take all of this in… a conversation with my very good buddy and penpal Brandelyn of BeeNCee.com:
me: by the way… i don’t like birds, they are scary, unless they are like parrots or parakeets in a cage
Brandelyn: i mean, i adore hummingbirds, but from a distanceoh i despise birdsfor real for realme: The movie The Birds scarred me for lifeI am truly frigthenedBrandelyn: OMG!!!!!!!!!
ME TOOOOOOOOOOOAlfred was RUDE for that!me: yassss!oooh and if I see any bird that is black….I about fall outBrandelyn: Dude!!!me: it is so badBrandelyn: Hummingbirds are all i can standand they are barely birdsbecause they are about an inch bigme: they are butterflies with beaks, lol
Brandelyn: BWAHAHAHAHHA!Have I told you how much I love you?hilarious!Butteflies with beaks my nig?DoneOh and geese, and how rude they areme: sigh, geeseBrandelyn: those jokers walk HELLA slow, looking at you all out of the side of their eyes and wanna hiss at you cause you’re trying to get past themme: ok!Brandelyn: cause they want to meander all down the sidewalkstopping trafficand they can’t even fly goodwanna fly all low to the groundjust walk foo!i can’t stand them!
me: LOL! Tell me how you really feelBrandelyn: and then they ROLL HELLA DEEP!like 30 of them, so if one of them hisses at you you can’t really retaliate or jerk forward to try to punk them cause they got like 30 of their boys all looking at you out of the side of their eye
me: and don’t get me started on sea gulls… and pigeonsBrandelyn: and Im with you on the pigeon thingthose are the dingiest birds in the world!me: and why do folks love doves… they are pigeons tooit is a white pigeonBrandelyn: Its cause they’re whiteall whiteme: ahhhhhBrandelyn: and only white people really like themme: *pulls out Autobigraphy of Malcom X*Brandelyn: or black people who were raised thinking they were white, how many negros have you seen messing with some doves? besides the candy?I apologize for my rantsbirds and smart cars really set me offI can’t stand either of them