Stand Up!

A few short poem about the heart, sleeves, and things…

what is poetry to me?

these words are my pacemaker
sending poetic currents
to pump this inspiraiton
through all of me
to sustain… life.

literally speaking...

cardiac couture

i am a simple gal
high fashion confuses me
all i wear
is sleeves adorned with ventricles and muscles
and then you came along
and ruined my outfit.
when you tugged on the strings.
put my heart in your hands
and walked away.

yup...

step into the arena

i have been to this arena before

where hearts and logic fight to the death

and conundrums are taking bets

and love is the only referee

but is too scared to call off the fight

and for once…

let the heart win by decision.

 poetry from the heart

I’m strange… and he likes it… just the way I’m is… or something. I am a weirdo. I know, I know, alert the media. I don’t need your judgment right now. Just because I have a watch does not mean I have time. I do have a new watch though. In fact Belinda said is was the best watch in the history of telling time. No this wasn’t hyperbolic either. My friends are weird too.

Alise nor Mickey don't have time, but we know what time it is. Wait, what?

SO this post will jsut be a random collection of my wirdness.  No rhyme or reason, kinda like me.     I have a major fear of manholes, sewers, and grates.  This is not an issue in good ol’ Durham, NC, but when I am in DC I lose my mind.  Do you know how difficult it is to not walk on manholes and grates in a major city???  Also while in DC I do a lot of walking and of course I have to be extra dramatic with my avoidance.  I am the patron saint of hyperbole. CaShawn just shakes her head at me.  I would shake my head at me too, actually I do.  I don’t know the origin of this fear, it is totally irrational.  I might fall down one and end up in some Wonderland alternate universe.  Alice.

*shudders*

During late ights most folks crave stufff like potato chips, cookies, cake, pie, freedomfrench fries.  Not me.  I crave stuff like oatmeal and dry ass toast.  Oatmeal yo.  Word to Quaker Oats Man and ‘nem.

swag.

Speaking of food #doe, I call the Food Lion chain of grocery stores, Food Dog. First off, it is just fun to say. Fun in my world anyway. Secondly, I am sorry, that mascot looks like a dog. Look at him. Don’t worry, I’ll wait

Woof!

Told ya.

The next weirdness includes my beloved, behated Belinda.  We do this thing where we imagine statements in a literal sense.  And by literal I mean ridiculous.  Por ejemplo (Bilingual swag.):

Belinda:  this changes airthang! Looking at life with new eyes now

me: I imagined myself handing you new eyeballs in a Tiffany box

Le sigh.  I have been so slack with this here blog.  See what had happened was…  my blog and website got hacked.  Through that process I lost most of my pictures and my will to live for a hot second.   Ok, I am exaggerating about the will to live part….  slightly.  It was sad.  Then work took all my energy and joyeux de vivre, ah the joys of retail (in a blog post coming soon).   I now have finally gotten the proverbial pep back in my hypothetical step.  (Yeah, I’m still silly).  To kick this off I will post a collection of chats with me and my beloved and behated Belinda Jamila Cheekie.

#him dead.

me: Hey Boo!
No Radley.

Belinda: HAYYYYYYY
kills a mockingbird
doesn’t tell PETA
eff them anyway

me: LOL, Imma still tell

Belinda: LOL, dry snitch!
which is a wet snitch a snitch that tells whilst getting caught in the rain?
which, NE can’t stand

me: goodbye. already.

Belinda: lol figured id get that going early

Mystikal, patron saint of outside voices

me: “looking for me? *HERE I GO!!!*” ~Sir Mystikal

Belinda: UH OHHHHHHHHHH! 
more people need to enter the room this way

me: DANGER!

GET ON DA FLOOR!

Belinda: beensolonnnnnng

me: THE MAN RIGH’ CHEAA!

Belinda: raps rest of verse fljdfoduofudiofudfjldjfodODFUODUFOFUDOUFDOD!!!! DANGER!

me: right!!!!

Belinda: #accurate

@SallieMae You make me feel like a whore. :(

March 2, 2012 11:26 am via webReplyRetweetFavorite

@pinchmycheekie

Cheekie

Belinda: i’m finna tweet something aint-shittery out of spite

me: Loan hoshit

Belinda: mmhmm

me: Pop those payments for a goon
Rack rack deferment bitch
Loans rule everything around me Le Ream
EARLY!
make me stop
Can’t stop
Wont stop
Eh eh eh eh

Belinda: LOLLLL

me: Adieu. Or in Baltimore uh-dew

More to come…  I have a pretty foolish backlog of chats!  Missed y’all!

actual transcript.

Haven’t posted any silly chats from my partner in crime/ratchetry/gchattery, Belinda,  (or blog post in general) in quite a while.  I know she feels neglected, kind of like her brain feels neglected of cells and sense.  I still love her though, but you are supposed to love thine enemies anyway, so it works.  That’s the way God and ‘nem designed it.  Or something.  Anyway, I am rambling, enjoy the silliness:

definitely not brown...

me: Awesome sauce! … Which is just generic swagu, but tastes similar
Belinda: yeah generic swagu is a nice sub, specially for these hard times
me: I be thinking… I’m a great resource
Belinda: you’re like encyclopedia brown except you’re actually brown
me: Google brown
Belinda: YES, i’d totally read those books

for indoors only.

me: I don’t trust folks who go outside in pajamas
I feel like they ain’t wash their ass
#random
Belinda: LMFAO, Bye Alice –> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MngGyN8Q294

[Editor's Note: the video she sent me is below]

WHOOP DAT TRICK! wait.. what?

Belinda: agreed
asloth [Editor's note: once again for this corny reference : pet greed]
me: *dies*
Belinda: we are seriously beating this dead horse.
r.i.p., horse
me: better than beating a sloth doe
he already got it bad
Belinda: you ain’t never lied
well at least not today
yeah, beating a sloth is like beating a man when he’s down
me: but beating a man while down is better strategy
Belinda: it really is
it keeps things consistent
me: if only i used my powers for good
Belinda: it’s like “well… while you down there..”
 me: we aint shit
well more so you
Belinda: not one bit
we’re the antonym of shit
wait… ( ._.)
me: ol shit antithesis
they should’t give big words to ratchets like us

Don’t judge us, we are actually reasonable people.  Well I am anyway. Viva las chats.

Nikki Giovanni, my hero...

Nikki Giovanni, “Choices”

if i can’t do
what i want to do
then my job is to not
do what i don’t want
to do

it’s not the same thing
but it’s the best i can
do

if i can’t have
what i want . . . then
my job is to want
what i’ve got
and be satisfied
that at least there
is something more to want

since i can’t go
where i need
to go . . . then i must . . . go
where the signs point
through always understanding
parallel movement
isn’t lateral

when i can’t express
what i really feel
i practice feeling
what i can express
and none of it is equal
i know
but that’s why mankind
alone among the animals
learns to cry

ALICE! (great name, lol)

Alice Walker, “Gift”

You intend no doubt
to give me nothing,
and are not aware
the gift has already been
received.
Curse me then,
and take away
the spell.
For I am rich;
no cheap and ragged
beggar
but a queen,
to rouse the king
I need in you.

...and so forth and such and what not, etc.

Belinda: *heart warms*
me: I imagined your heart in some Tupperware in the microwave on defrost
Belinda: HAHAHA me too!
me: That’s why we go together
Belinda: mmhmm chile
me: Peas and carrots swag
Belinda: tee hee!
wayment… i bet you’d say i was forrest gump
hmph

Yeah, me and Belinda (aka Cheekie the Great Mediocre)  go together.  I am a glutton for punishment… and pie. You miss us?  No?  Haters.  Anyway, with my new job situation and new website design jobs,  I haven’t been posting much, but I sure missed it.  So this will kick off my attempt to not be a stranger for  so long.  Speaking of missing foks:

Megaphone Protocol

Alise: I missed you.
Don’t tell nobody.
Step away from the megaphone
Belinda: *places megaphone into pocket like only a looney tune-esque character could*
ditto
me: but their pocket would be in their fur….  even though they would take the fur off, so i guess it was technically clothes
Belinda: LOL true, i wonder if they ever wore mink coats in the winter or thought their shit was better?

Classy Greetings and Laughs

Belinda: how are you and shit?
me: Splendid and shit.you?
Belinda: shit and splendid, naturally (no… *points to you*)
me: Lmao
Le Mao
Lee meow
Lay mow
Belinda: HAHAHA
me: That is all
For now anyway
Belinda: how bout lei mao for the Hawaiians?

Circular Un-Logic

Belinda: figured i need some chill evening ratchet gchat time.i been too productive lately. o_O
me: LOL, need some sloth …   would you pet a pet greed or sloth?  (Editor’s Note: Click here to get the “pet greed” reference)
or is a pet greed all porcupiney?
would you just nod at it to show affection?
Belinda: yeah, i’d give it a thats whats up head nod. I’m too gangsta for anything else
me: and you boogie with it for obvious reasons, but dont blame it…. actually blame it, MJ said so
i am confused
Belinda: same

What???

Check out some vintage chat silliness  by clicking the pics below while I get my blogging life together.

"We Be Chatting"

"Chatopia"

"Chat Swagu"

Enjoy!  Happy Holidays!  Till we meet again…

This song is like tinsel and glitter... never goes away.

I work anywhere from 8 to 12 hour shifts.  Within that span of time I hear the store’s music, which actually is not half bad.  Not half good either.  I have heard at least 20 different covers of the cassic Donny Hathaway Christmas song, “This Christmas.”  As you may have seen on my blog, I am a huge fan of Donny Hathaway and his progeny.  However, I low-key despise “This Christmas.”  On paper it is a great song, catchy, and Yuletidey, but I have deveoped a relationship with this song similar to mine with the Eletric Slide Dance.  I sing it just like you HAVE  an obligation to do the Electric Slide at ratchet weddings and family reunions.  It’s in the rules for retaining your Hood Pass™.  Back to the incessant playing of this song at work.  I have heard a version done by some of the following artists:

• Usher
• Gloria Estafan
• Beyonce and ‘nem (Destiny’s Child)
• Chris Brown
• Macy Gray … this is by far the worst version.
• Christina Aguilera …  she overdid this one the way she oversings everything, it is painful to listen.

• Heavy Winter coat
• Furry hat
• NO SHOES!!!

they have got to bring this back....

I was so perplexed.  I stared at this lady for at least 5 minutes.  I just wanted to know why she was buying cosmetics and not some Uggs or something.  I am upset about her entire existence.  How do you just wake up on a frigid morning and think, “I am gonna get dressed out in my finest Winter gear, but eff these shoes!!!”  How do you just casually walk through the mall without nary a piece of footwear? She could have at least worn those annoying socks with the grips on the bottom.  Any thoughts?  *ShrugLife*

#ThugLife

Sea Change by Jeremy Page

The latest selection from BlogHer’s Book Club is Sea Change by Jeremy Page.  I got pulled into this book by its gorgeous, descriptive language.   He paints with words instead of just creating the “same ol’” narrative. His writing style sometimes even reads like poetry.  The land, the water, the boat were characters that participated in the plot in very real ways. And the world “real” means a lot here, because the main character, Guy’s story is not all the way “real”. He lives on an old boat, wandering around the North Sea, lost literally and figuratively.  Five years prior an accident happened and his daughter was killed. His marriage didn’t make it long afterwards… in the real world.  But every night Guy sits in his boat and writes a diary of what could have/should have been.   He then meets a mother and daughter that bridge the connection to his imagined future and the real one.   This is a quiet, engaging, and layered book that leaves you thinking about  what happens in it long after…

 Join in the first discussion of the book Sea Change at BlogHer (here).

I was compensated for this BlogHer Book Club review but all opinions expressed are my own.

POW! (see what I did there? no? the gun-sight? pow? no? oh.)

So, hey y’all hey!  I have some fabulous news.  I got a job!  *crowd goes wild*  I haven’t had one of those in many a moon and it hasn’t been for lack of trying.   So in honor of my working woman status I present to you the latest Playlist adventure aptly titled “Employed & Sh*t.”  Enjoy my working woman’s medley.

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Michael Jackson  - “Working Day and Night”

[iframe width="50%" height="240" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/MJVcgP9ve-c"]

Jackie Wilson – “Baby Workout”

[iframe width="50%" height="240" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/vwtLGFTrwLE"]

Vanessa Williams – “Work To Do”

[iframe width="50%" height="240" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/UODX_pYpVxk" ]

Missy Elliot – “Work It”

[iframe width="50%" height="240" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/2OKNDb1ONL4"]

Big Daddy Kane – “I Get the Job Done”

Been Diddy Bopping for a week!

Wish me luck and energy in my return to the land of the employed. Y’all be good!