All Birds NOTHING!

Do I know why the caged birds sing?  I have several theories:

* Subterfuge for its creepiness

* Facade for its evilness

* Trying to call his creepy, evil cousins on the outside to come and get him out.

All of this makes sense.  Why?  Because birds are evil.   Yes, birds.  Er’ last one of them.  Okay, except for the ones I eat.  So I do apologize chickens, Cornish Hens, and turkeys.    But besides them, I can’t deal with birds of any kind.

The Birds movie poster

How can this not scare you?

Blame it on Alfred Hitchcock’s “The Birds”, sh*t, you can blame it on the rain, or even blame it  on the boogie. The creatures just ain’t right.  Trust me, I know these things.  I even have a delusional friend, who’s name I won’t mention (but she is part of the blog Gimme That Glow and her name starts with an O and ends in -dara o_0 ) , who is obsessed with owls.  Sigh, yes, creepy wise-ass owls.  She torments me by sending me links to owl pictures on twitter.  So now I call her OwlDara…  she is so weird.  Any-hoot. <–see what I did there?

owl

I feel like he is looking in my soul... *shivers*

However,I do have a friend that shares my bird insensibility Just take all of this in… a conversation with my very good buddy and penpal Brandelyn of BeeNCee.com:

me: by the way… i don’t like birds, they are scary, unless they are like parrots or parakeets in a cage

Brandelyn: i mean, i adore hummingbirds, but from a distance
oh i despise birds
for real for real
me: The movie The Birds scarred me for life
I am truly frigthened
Brandelyn: OMG!!!!!!!!!
ME TOOOOOOOOOOO
Alfred was RUDE for that!
me: yassss!
oooh and if I see any bird that is black….
I about fall out
Brandelyn: Dude!!!
me: it is so bad
Brandelyn:  Hummingbirds are all i can stand
and they are barely birds
because they are about an inch big
me: they are butterflies with beaks, lol
hummingbird

butterflies with beaks...

Brandelyn: BWAHAHAHAHHA!
Have I told you how much I love you?
hilarious!
Butteflies with beaks my nig?
Done
Oh and geese, and how rude they are
me: sigh, geese
Brandelyn: those jokers walk HELLA slow, looking at you all out of the side of their eyes and wanna hiss at you cause you’re trying to get past them
me: ok!
Brandelyn: cause they want to meander all down the sidewalk
stopping traffic
and they can’t even fly good
wanna fly all low to the ground
just walk foo!
i can’t stand them!
geese

Public Enemy #1, 2, AND 3

me: LOL!  Tell me how you really feel
Brandelyn: and then they ROLL HELLA DEEP!
like 30 of them, so if one of them hisses at you you can’t really retaliate or jerk forward to try to punk them cause they got like 30 of their boys all looking at you out of the side of their eye
pigeon and dove

This is what it sounds like when pigeons cry.... (Prince remix)

me: and don’t get me started on sea gulls… and pigeons
Brandelyn: and Im with you on the pigeon thing
those are the dingiest birds in the world!
me: and why do folks love doves… they are pigeons too
it is a white pigeon
Brandelyn: Its cause they’re white
all white
me: ahhhhh
Brandelyn: and only white people really like them
me: *pulls out Autobigraphy of Malcom X*
Brandelyn: or black people who were raised thinking they were white, how many negros have you seen messing with some doves?  besides the candy?
I apologize for my rants
birds and smart cars really set me off
I can’t stand either of them
Good times on GChat…  Do you like birds and what animals freak you out?

7 thoughts on “All Birds NOTHING!”

  1. I’m here to defend doves. Mourning doves, specifically.

    1.They mate for life and will pine away and die if they lose their mate.

    B. They are tan, not white, with black wingtips and black specks on their wings and tails.

    III. Both parents will sacrifice themselves attempting to distract predators from their young.

    Fourth. They have a very plaintive, yet peaceful call.

    On the otherhand, the bastards shit on my windshield like er’day… so screw ’em.

  2. Hilarious !!!!!!!!! Ok I’m not gonna lie. Some birds are annoying not creepy but annoying!! Owls are SACRED I say !!! SACRED ! they are majestic and whimsical and wise n shit. lol

    have you SEEN Legend of the Guardians for God’s sake ?! They save lives ! * hmph * ( well other owl lives tho O_o )

    Uhhh not too many animals freak me out but I’m gonna have to go with wolves. or anything furry whose eyes glow in the dark :-/ yeaaahhh that’s pretty freaky! lol

    Lemme Lone Alise !!!! LMAO!

    1. You know I have to mess with you….it is what our friendship is built on, lol. Real talk though I saw some owl jewelry yesterday that was actually cute (but still creepy), but they made me think of you… almost picked something up for ya, but then my better judgment kicked in… 😉

  3. Pigeons are not all white. Doves are! LOL!
    My friend keeps on differentiating this. What is a pigeon, what is a dove?

  4. Well, for me, owls are quite impressive birds like any other birds. My friend has a owl bird and they are look pretty intelligent birds.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *