I am all about the issues and getting down to the important topics facing the world today. I am a ‘phisticated citizen of the world. *pops gum* I shole is… This is how I got into a highly refined and life important conversation with the highly enlightened Beez Hunny. This poignant and thought provoking conversation started off a little something like this:
Beez Hunny: I’m still wanning to know how they got alladem smurfs with one smurfette… survival of the population heauxsh*t
me: I think there was an underground prostitute ring in the next village over. Smurfette was the Madame.
Beez Hunny: Yeah… She was way smarter than them other ones. Way slicker than the average smurf.
Not a whore, but a proprietor of heauxs...
Deep, won’t it? I thought you’d agree. The Smurfs is one of my favorite cartoons, but I have some questions and concerns with each of the characters. What better place to air out my grievances than on this classy blog? *Flips locs back and forth*
So this brings me to Papa Smurf, why did he have to be all fancy with his Kanye VMA pants on? Oh, you are too fancy to wear white after Labor Day like all of your minions. This is the reason for the disconnect between folks and their leaders. Also, did you notice Papa Smurf always had some kind of “potion” brewing in his fancy hut. Definitely a meth lab. #fact
"Is you balling, is you balling... Bish I might be..."
Speaking of meth labs, I finally know why Gargamel had so much beef with Papa Smurf’s crew. Wait for it….. Papa Smurf had moved in on Gargamel’s drug turf. Think about it, he was constantly trying to shut all the “smurfing” going down in the Smurf Village Section 8 Huts. So Gargamel had to protect his cash flow so he could get Azrael the finest catnip and platinum collars. I don’t see how y’all didn’t notice this. *straight face*
"I thinkg I'm Big Meech... Larry Hoover..."
Speaking of illegal activities going down in South Central Smurf Village, there was a terrorist in the midst. Now while I ain’t for terrorism and the like, at least if you are going to do it, have some finesse and pride about it. Yeah, Jokey Smurf-Laden was the clumsiest and most unimaginative terrorist in recent recorded history. Yeah, it took him all night to make this plan:
"Yo, so check this out, I'm gonna get this present right, but I'm gonna put a bomb in it... that's dope right!?!? "
However, I am going to leave the Smurfs law troubles alone, because I am no snitch, unlike the Smurf we all smurf to hate… Brainy Smurf. How did Brainy Smurf survive exactly? I bet he pressed charges everytime they beat his annoying a$$ up. Some Smurfs never learn. If there was a First 48 type of show in Smurf Village he’d be the dude they get to rat out the whole village for one smurf-berry muffin…
Snitches get stitches... even in Smurf Village
I have a question for my loyal blog readers (all 4 of you), who was the first openly gay character on television? Well duh, Vanity Smurf. He was a trailblazer and I often wonder why he doesn’t get the media exposure he deserves. This is a travesty. Name a character fiercer than the queen known as Vanity Smurf…. don’t worry, I’ll wait…
life partners.
Do you have any Smurf questions that you were always afraid to ask?
iQuit boffa y’all… but ‘specially YOU…
Smurf Village Section 8 huts… really?
They were on public assistance, I am sure of it.
This post gave me EVERYTHING I needed for a Sunday afternoon.
Papa Smurf and his Kanye pants. HATE. YOU! LMAOOO
I love the smurfs. And always wondered why Smurfette was the only chick in the crew. But don’t forget, towards the end of the run, they had those lil chillin smurfs and there was a girl among them. I forget her name. I think that was Smurfette’s love chile and they pulled a Janet Jackson and just tucked all that under the rug. mmmhmmm. That’s what I think.
And yes, Vanity was the Queen Bish up in there. Folks need to pay HOMAGE. I can see Vanity killin it to Single Ladies right about now… mirror in hand and all!
Great post.
Have a smurfy rest of the day!
Yeah the lil junior Smurfs came out of no where, I think maybe they were sweatshop employees for the Air Smurfs shoe operation. My only other explanation is that maybe they were drug mules…
Vanity was like the Derek J of the village. He had the flower in his hair like, “Bish, say somehting! Dare ya!”
I didn’t say none of this smurfin’ stuff!
Get the smurf outta here! Tryna sully my smurfin’ name and stuff…
But this thesis on the smurf economy, doe? Lemme borrow this for my next paper. For reals.
o_O
Wutevs…. you know you said allathatthere…
Y’all two need adult supervision. Lemme go call Peebz…
just what I needed after a day filled with homework…..loved it!!! too funny
lmao.. **Speaking of meth labs, I finally know why Gargamel had so much beef with Papa Smurf’s crew.**
Tell me that don’t make sense #doe, lol
anything with bill moseley ,plus d.randall blythe of lamb of god ,gots to be a bad ass movie. double thumbs up!
monete antiche monete antiche